Ugandan Women

19 March
One thing I’m glad I am not is a Ugandan woman. Women here work incredibly hard from dawn until 9 or 10 at night. They are responsible for keeping the home which is a huge task given 99% of the people cook over a wood fire and don’t have running water. Water needs to be fetched and carried and firewood gathered (often from relatively far away). Washing dishes with Jane the other night I tried to explain how we wash at home with a sink. She had never heard of a sink… although she did know that Americans have machines that wash dishes. Women also tend the gardens, clean the home, look after the children, gather and prepare meals, do the laundry and tend any animals they may have.
Only in the last 20 years or so has it been legal for women to work outside the home… which only means they still have to do all the regular tasks PLUS go to a job. Men don’t have any responsibilities around the home although some are farmers, peasants, woodworkers or laborers. Women also have no rights to property. If a husband dies his family can, and often does, force the widow and children out of the home and take ownership. If a man leaves his wife, once again she gets nothing except responsibility for raising the children. A married woman without children is also not allowed to spend the night alone in her own home (if her husband has to go away) - the fear being she will invite another man. Seems like a groundless fear… who in their right mind would want more than one? Or even one for that matter. It is also very common for a husband to be unfaithful and many have more than one wife (even if they are Muslim).
I learned much of this from Deborah and Jane the other night over dinner while Festus was away and Mary was working late. I tried to describe how life is different for women in America but felt uncomfortable saying too much. Sometimes an education of this kind can be difficult- knowing something better exists but you’ll never have the opportunity to enjoy it. I only hope their interactions with foreigners make them think twice about whom they marry, what work they choose to pursue and how they prepare themselves to be independent of a man even if they choose to marry. As we wound up our conversation around 9:30pm Mary arrived home to say Festus was on his way home and wanting dinner. He hadn’t told anyone he would be home for dinner so Deborah hadn’t prepared enough for him. Back to the kitchen and fire to make another meal- she still hadn’t completed by the time Jane and I finished the dishes from dinner #1. Ugandan Men.
The younger Ugandan women also don’t understand why I am married but have no children. Most everyone comes from families of 8-10 so having none or even just one child is odd to them. Culturally they believe women can only get fulfillment by having children. I tried to explain by saying if I had children I wouldn’t be able to visit Uganda- by not having children I have some freedom and ability to do other things with my life. This is a hard concept for a Ugandan woman to understand- freedom and the ability to make choices about what she does. It’s the M&M problem- Men and Money.
In recognition of the hard working men in Uganda (for there are some) the photos posted are both taken today. The “tinker” who carries his wares (I hope he sets shop up somewhere and doesn’t spend his day so burdened, could be deadly in equatorial Africa) and a man I met on my way home who requested I take his picture. He was coming from a day of toil in his fields. The Tinker asked me if it gets so cold in America that people could die if they didn’t have the right clothes. I told him yes and he shook his head in disbelief.